Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Does anyone still fall for this stuff?

Hello Instructor

I'm Mark Will from Paris,France.during my search for a Bagpipe lesson teacher that would always take my Daughter (Sarah) and I found your advert..Your advert looks great and it is very okay to me since you specialize in the area i am seeking for him.
Ok, so this piques my interest for several reasons. Firstly and most importantly, I'm not a bagpipe teacher. I do teach flute and guitar. But bagpipes? I've never claimed to play bagpipes, let alone teach them. As for my "advert," I had one on Craig's List for a while, and I also had a thoroughly lame website advertising my lessons--my flute lessons--but because I'm extremely slack, both of those have long since expired. And all that aside, dude seems to be confused about his child's gender. Yep, this is a scammer.

My Daugther would be coming to USA. Before the end of this month for a period of time and with her friend for 4 Months.She is just 16yr Old and also a beginner, i want you to help me teach lesson during her stay.

So, kindly let me know your charges cost per week's, in order for me to arrange for her payment before she travels down to your side.

I should also like to know if the their is any Text Book you will recomment for her as a beginner so that she will be reading privately at home after the lesson during her stay.

Please Advise back on;
(1). your charges per 1 hour twice a week for 4 Months?
(2).The Day and time you will be available to teach her During the week?
(3).Tuition address?

I will be looking forward to read from you soonest.
Best Regards,
Mark Will
See, the way this works is that I'm supposed to reply and say something like "Sure, I'll happily teach your little hermaphrodite an instrument I've never played for the extremely low price of $4,000. You understand that teachers of my stature normally charge a premium for their services, but I'm giving you a bargain because I admire your prose style."

And he'll reply, "Yes, your price seems perfectly reasonable, and my daughter is very excited to be taking lessons from you, bless his pointy little head. Due to complications resulting from the dismal exchange rate that are too mundane for the conversation of gentlemen such as ourselves, I shall send you a cashier's check for $6,000. Please deposit it and forward the excess $2,000 to my financial adviser, Monsieur Grosse-Putain."

"Certainly," I'll reply. "These arrangements seem entirely sound and logical to me. I see no downside. I shall begin interviewing interpreters at once." Of course the cashier's check will be a forgery, and I'll only discover this after I've sent $2,000 to a stranger.

I've heard of this kind of scam being tried on people selling stuff over the internet, or looking for roommates, but this is the first time I've heard of it being used on music teachers. I want to play this guy. The only thing that keeps me from having some fun with him is that since he knows my email address, he knows my name, which means he could conceivably do me some damage if I piss him off.

It's a shame, really. I'm having such a slow week.


Orion said...

Hi Instructor... I mean Rob... I'm enjoying the title anagrams very much!

Wouldn't it be funny if this were not a scam? Sad but true these days... we all have to be on the alert. I too have never seen a scam aimed at a music teacher...

Rob said...

Yeah, how much money do these people think I make teaching bagpipes, anyway? DAMN, I'd love to turn this scam around and see how much I could fuck with this guy.

And I just recently discovered that an anagram of "Rob Greenway" is "Agony Brewer." I'm highly amused by this.

T said...

Ha! And what were the anagrams Paul Madden came up with all of us Roaring Maryites a while ago? Can you remember?

Bizarro scam. Except fairly ill-conceived...I can think of quite a few of us who would not, under any circumstances, even accept a check for that amount for lessons, because it would be more likely to be traceable for taxes.... Dude clearly didn't think of that!

Rob said...

Oh, sure, that's another big issue right there. Cash only, mon ami.

An Briosca Mor said...

Rob, you used to date one of the women of law enforcement, so I'm surprised you haven't figured this one out. It's obviously a cop on the other end of this e-mail trying to get you in an underage girl sting. Do I really need to explain to you what they are talking about when they refer to your bagpipes?

mike said...

Tell him you only accept payment in rolls of state quarters from states that start with the letter N. And if he pays... what the hell, teach some bagpipe lessons.

mike said...

And don't forget he asked what textbook you'd be assigning. I'd say start with the complete works of Malcolm Gladwell and maybe The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova.

Di said...

Haha, Dateline did a show about this where they replied to a bunch of these emails from 'beneficiaries' or whatever and actually went as far as to meet the people in London for the exchange of funds... it was really interesting! And less sleazy than when they try to trap the pedophiles.