Monday, October 8, 2007

This is at least as good as the Temperance Fountain

Hey, everybody, head over to this site and cast your vote on where in DC they should build the Great Big Butt Plug Tower of Invincibility! I picked Orren and Childress Streets NE where the Trinidad Playground is now, 627 H Street NW where they just knocked down the China Doll restaurant, and the Tidal Basin (they could build it on pontoons and float it).

According to the website, "The Tower of Invincibility will fulfill the highest ideals of America as expressed by our nation's founders and by other great heroes of our country—freedom, sovereignty and peace ... The Tower of Invincibility honors the mighty power of Natural Law, which now can be harnessed through cutting-edge technologies of consciousness to prevent problems and conflict and to raise our nation to invincibility-—an invincible power that cannot be challenged by anyone."

Isn't it thrilling?

20 comments:

T said...

Butt-plugness of it aside, do you think they mean to have it look like the strange three-way love child of a mosque, the Louvre, and the Empire State Building?

I wish I knew the parts of DC where I never go better so as to vote more actively. The best location I can think of now, in my migraine-fighting state, is Nowhere.

An Briosca Mor said...

With a little architectural modification around the base, it could be made to look like a giant middle finger. In which case it could be placed on the Ellipse facing the White House or on Mass Ave across from the VP's house, at least until January 20, 2009. At which point, being that it would then have become one of the artifacts of the current administration, it could be installed permanently at the George W. Bush Library (talk about your oxymorons) in Texas.

Rob said...

A commenter on DCist opined that if we're going to build a giant phallus, the fountain should go on top.

I really hope they build this thing. I'm a sucker for civic absurdity.

An Briosca Mor said...

We already have a giant phallus in DC, just beyond the Mall, although it doesn't spurt. Perhaps that technology was not available when it was built.

T said...

We'd be having fun with this one for years to come, just like the building at Liberty U. that's colloquially known as "The Tit on the Hill," at least among my high school friend group.

Orion said...

Tower of invincibility eh? Well, it seems to me that's just asking for it.

T said...

So true, Ms. O, so true!

Jeanette said...

There is a precendent, except it has testicles:

http://www.coyoteblog.com/coyote_blog/2005/03/florida_capital.html

I used to see it heaving above the horizon as I drove to school each day up Apalachee Parkway. Ugh.

Jeanette said...

Oops, replace /flori with:
/florida_capital.html

But do go look if you haven't seen it before.

Rob said...

Here's an image of the building Jet was trying to link. It's the Florida state capitol. Most impressive.

paddy in the cubicle said...

Can't possibly be for real, right?
However, I'm all for it, because if they really built it, it would surely beat this building hands (pants?) down:
http://www.cabinetmagazine.org/phallic/winner.php
-Patrick
...I suppose a structure like this would have to be erected, not built.

pet rock said...

Oops, my link didn't work. Sigh... I swear, this never happens to me. Just...give me a minute. Has anyone got a Viagra?

pot rack said...

Ah ha! tum tum TUM!!!

T said...

All these links remind me of the Phallic Logo awards: http://www.b3ta.com/features/phalliclogoawards/

An Briosca Mor said...

Mr. Caveman-no, if you're gonna post links like that you really need to include an NSFW notation. Good thing no one was looking when I opened it up, or I might have been fired!

I'm afraid to try Tes's link now, until she re-assures me it's safe for work...

Rob said...

Oh, my god. The Brazilian Institute for Oriental Studies logo seriously takes the prize.

T said...

John: it depends on your workplace...given that some actual workplaces use these things every day as their official logos!

Yes, the Brazilian thing is staggeringly...er, I can't think of the right adjective there. I also like the one below it, with the downtown action on what's supposed to be an owl (I think).

Rob said...

Just to emphasize: this is real, folks. The developer that wants to build this thing is a partner in the company that built White Flint Mall, Blair Towns, and the (redundantly named) Tower Building in Rockville, and he's planning to use his own money to make this project happen if it turns out that he can't build on the National Mall. I think it's our duty as Washingtonians to go to his website and suggest the most absurd sites possible.

T said...

Ok, so I just voted. Here goes:

1. Atlanta
2. next to the College Park Ikea
3. Hell.

An Briosca Mor said...

Will it have a Starbucks inside? There may yet be some under-served neighborhood that needs one, and that would definitely influence my vote.